Tag Archive | Grief

In Remembrance


This post is dedicated to the memory of my grandma who passed away Monday evening. While I lived with her, we would drink tea in some old tea cups. When she moved from her house to an apartment / retirement home, many things were passed along or sold so she could fit a house into a two bedroom apartment. This tea cup was passed on to me. If my memory is right, this belonged to her mother (my great grandma) at one time. It was made in Prussia which doesn’t even exist anymore.

When I think of my grandma, I don’t think of things. When I look at some things, I think of grandma (like this tea cup). Thinking about “what I want of grandma’s”, I only came up with one thing. I want a picture of my grandparents together. I’d like to write on the back their names, the dates they lived, and when they got married. Really I just want a picture to look at and spark happy memories.

As hard as this time has been, I know that she is at peace and no longer in pain. I like to think that she is now reunited with my grandpa and they are sailing around in a yacht that he’s built while waiting for her. I miss her terribly and even if it’s hard to believe right now, I know that the pain will lesson and it will get easier to live with. I am so happy that we got to spend the time that we did.

Dear Grandma Sue, I love you! Be sure to give Grandpa Dick a big hug from all of us!

Holding it Together

I feel I must share some thoughts and feelings now. My grandmother is 83 years old and is the most amazing women I’ve ever met. I had the privilege of living with her for a couple of years after high school and I learned so much. Not just things I learned from her, but things I learned about her. She has lived an incredible, full life. Our family has known that we may not have much more time left with her for awhile now. When I got pregnant, I prayed that she would meet my son (who’s middle name is after her late husband). She met him for a few hours back in November and I loved that time we had.

Little Man and Great Grandma

Little Man and his Great Grandma

Recently, her health has been failing faster and I’ve held it together pretty well. I haven’t been in the thick of it like the rest of my family since I live so far away. Well, today I couldn’t keep it together any more. I’ve cried most of the day. I’m comforted only by the fact that my family can see my grandma and be with her in her last days. Yet it pains me to realize that I will most likely never see her again. She’s not gone yet, but I can’t give her a hug, or see her smile. I have an Aunt who visited her the other day and wrote about what was said. It was reading that, that made this a reality, a truth.

I know that my grandma has lived a very full life and has done some amazing things. She’s been to China and seen the great wall. They all built a 42 foot boat when my dad was 10, in their backyard! She’s met a president and various congressman and senators. She won awards for her amazing sewing skills. She’s beautiful and has a heart of gold, yet she’ll let you know if you’re out of line. Grandma and grandpa raised three amazing kids,  have 8 grandchildren and 1 great grand child (my son). There are millions of amazing stories that I’ve been told over the years. Some are so crazy you’d think it was from a movie. But it was my grandma’s life. I hope to grow up and be just as amazing as her.

I pray that my grandma’s last days are filled with love, family, and good stories.

Four Generations

Me, my dad, little man, and my grandma
November 7, 2012

In case you couldn’t tell, I take after my dad’s side of the family, and little man takes after me.