From the moment you get pregnant (actually before too but not as in your face), we are compared.
- The age you started having kids
- The age you’re still having kids
- If you’re bigger or smaller than the pregnant people they know or have seen
- When you feel the baby move
- BTW – that whole “butterflies” or “flutter of life” feeling is total CRAP! It’s more like when you hold in a fart in the beginning.
- BTW2 – if the placenta is in the front you’ll feel it later. They don’t tell you that and you can’t tell if it is until the big ultrasound.
- How big or small your baby is at X time
- If you’re baby came early, on time, late
- C-section vs normal vs VBAC
- How big your baby is at birth
Later on it keeps going
- When you kid walks
- When your kid talks
- When your kid is potty trained – I really hate this one. Yes my 3 year old is not potty trained. Guess why. Because he fucking doesn’t want to be yet. He knows how, he’s just not that interested.
- How much your kid knows – Big issue for homeschooled kids. “Well my neighbors/co-workers/friends kid/grandkid does X already. Why doesn’t yours?”
- How socialized your kid is – Another homeschool pet peeve. Yes, because I want my kid associating with the bullies or those that aren’t tolerant. How about school safety? Since the recent shootings, homeschool is on the rise. Public school kids are just as messed up as the rest. Don’t get me going on about teachers, I know there are some great ones and they work hard, it’s still divided time. Sure there are exceptions everywhere but please. SHUT UP ABOUT SOCIALIZING MY KID!!
- The comparisons don’t stop there. But my list will.
The point is please stop comparing us. All of us! I have terrible body confidence issues. Why? Because growing up I always saw my mom upset with how her tummy wasn’t flat enough. She’s beautiful and in great shape. So if you can’t be happy with that body, what chance do I have? I’m usually a bit overweight. I’m terrible at styling my hair. I don’t wear makeup unless I’m going out or to see family. Hell, remember how it’s a win if I get to brush my hair?? I don’t feel pretty or beautiful. I keep comparing myself to everyone else. My sister has amazing style. She’s great with makeup and hair. She’s also a kick ass marathon runner. She’s no size 2 but she is in great shape and can kick just about anyone’s ass. One of my cousin’s is a petit thing and super cute. She makes friends all over and has an easily dressed body type.
We’re great about putting on a happy or pretty face for others. How many actually know the struggle that goes on inside? Likely no one knows what we struggle with inside. We may not be Tom Hanks or Julia Roberts, but we are all actors.
Who cares about the models on the cover of magazines. We compare ourselves to the people around us. It’s not easy, I’m guilty too. But if we were to stop comparing ourselves to others, if we could be happy with the body we have at the moment (because lets face it, the body is always changing. Thanks zebra stripes.); maybe we could all be happier and young girls and boys (YES BOYS TOO), can grow up accepting who they are.
My 3 year old has long hair. My 6 year old has short hair. The 6 year old keeps being conditioned by other people that long hair is for girls. Boys can’t wear nail polish. The 3 year old doesn’t care. He likes his curls. But I’m sick of people putting their close minded views onto my kids. I know men who wear skirts, have earrings or wear necklaces (and not just the religious ones or rapper chains). The’re awesome people. Side bit on that… check out Red Dress PDX. Wearing a red dress is required for entry and everyone who attended had a great time. An no, not all the guys that went are gay or bisexual or feminine. They just wore a red dress.
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Stop comparing other people to yourself or others. Accept people and let them be happy! Accept yourself and be happy!