Holding it Together

I feel I must share some thoughts and feelings now. My grandmother is 83 years old and is the most amazing women I’ve ever met. I had the privilege of living with her for a couple of years after high school and I learned so much. Not just things I learned from her, but things I learned about her. She has lived an incredible, full life. Our family has known that we may not have much more time left with her for awhile now. When I got pregnant, I prayed that she would meet my son (who’s middle name is after her late husband). She met him for a few hours back in November and I loved that time we had.

Little Man and Great Grandma

Little Man and his Great Grandma

Recently, her health has been failing faster and I’ve held it together pretty well. I haven’t been in the thick of it like the rest of my family since I live so far away. Well, today I couldn’t keep it together any more. I’ve cried most of the day. I’m comforted only by the fact that my family can see my grandma and be with her in her last days. Yet it pains me to realize that I will most likely never see her again. She’s not gone yet, but I can’t give her a hug, or see her smile. I have an Aunt who visited her the other day and wrote about what was said. It was reading that, that made this a reality, a truth.

I know that my grandma has lived a very full life and has done some amazing things. She’s been to China and seen the great wall. They all built a 42 foot boat when my dad was 10, in their backyard! She’s met a president and various congressman and senators. She won awards for her amazing sewing skills. She’s beautiful and has a heart of gold, yet she’ll let you know if you’re out of line. Grandma and grandpa raised three amazing kids,  have 8 grandchildren and 1 great grand child (my son). There are millions of amazing stories that I’ve been told over the years. Some are so crazy you’d think it was from a movie. But it was my grandma’s life. I hope to grow up and be just as amazing as her.

I pray that my grandma’s last days are filled with love, family, and good stories.

Four Generations

Me, my dad, little man, and my grandma
November 7, 2012

In case you couldn’t tell, I take after my dad’s side of the family, and little man takes after me.

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